Know Your Stars: Lost Style
by RandomAvocados
Summary: The survivors find a new hatch. Inside, there lives a mysterious bodiless voice. Will it drive the survivors to madness? So far: Jack, Sawyer, Charlie, Hurley, Desmond, and AnaLucia
1. Jack

Sorry it's so short, but i hope that you like it anyway.

Know Your Stars: Lost Style

Jack

Jack walked through the dark hatch. He noticed a single stool in the middle of the room with a spotlight shining on it, so he decided to sit down.

Out of nowhere, a bodiless voice called out, _'Know your stars. Know your stars. Know your stars. Jack Sheppard, he's everybody's hero."_

"Well, not to brag or anything, but, I was voted Most Likely To Save Someone's Life by all the survivors."

'_Jack Shepard, he secretly calls himself Super Jack!'_

"I do not! That is ridiculous!" he then added in a whisper, "It's Jackman."

_'Super Jack, he thinks he's better than Batman.'_

"If you are going to call me by my superhero name, call me Jackman. And btw, nobody can be better than Batman. He's the greatest superhero that ever lived! Apart from Superman that is."

'_Super Jack, he sneaks off into the jungle at night to battle the monster.'_

"I've never even seen the monster, well there was that one time a couple weeks ago, but still! And I'd never go into the jungle alone at night! It's scary!"

'_Super Jack, he's not afraid of monsters, but he's scared of an itty bitty jungle!'_

"Have you ever been in that jungle? It's creepy! There are Others in it! And they whisper!"

'_Super Jack, he's scared of whispering,'_ the voice said in a whisper.

"What are you doing? I'm not scared of whispering! I just get creeped out by those whispers in the jungle!"

'_Super Jack he has to shout everything because he'll die if he whispers.'_

"Will you quit it already? I'm not scared of whispering!"

'_Fine then. Have it your way.Super Jack, he wears tights and a cape.'_

"No, I don't! Wait, why am I even arguing with you? It won't do any good." Jack then got up off the stool and walked away.

'_Super Jack,'_ the voice yelled, _'he thinks he can fly! Wait! Come back here! I'm not finished with you!' _the voice sighed. _'And know you know Super Jack.'_

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Review Time! Reviews are greatly appreciated. I'll give ramen noodles to anyone who reviews!


	2. Sawyer

Here's the next chappie!

Know Your Stars: Lost Style

Sawyer

Sawyer entered the hatch, looked around, and saw a stool in the middle of the room. He sat down on it.

A bodiless voice called out _'Know you stars. Know your stars. Know your stars.''_

"Oh wow," Sawyer said sarcastically. "I am so scared of this creepy bodiless voice."

'_Are you mocking me?'_

"Don't you have something to do?"

'_Oh yes, right. Sawyer, his real name is Barney.'_

"Haha, very clever, Bodiless Voice."

'_Sawyer, his real name is Britney Spears.'_

"Is that the best you got, Hot Shot?"

'_Sawyer, his real name is Michael Jackson.'_

"I am so offended!" Sawyer said sarcastically again. "How dare you say that to me!"

'_Sawyer, his real name is Adolf Hitler.'_

"Are you running out of bad things to say?"

'_NO! Sawyer, his real name is James Ford.'_

"Bingo, you actually said something right. I bet that I can think of some better insults! Bodiless Voice, he is in love with his own voice!"

'_Agghhh! You're not supposed to insult me! Sawyer, his real name is Batman!'_

"Bodiless Voice, his life is so pathetic, he has to think of lame insults to tell people for fun."

'_Sawyer, he wants everyone to hate him.'_

"Rightagain Hot Shot! Bodiless Voice, he is really ugly, and that's why he doesn't want anyone to see him!"

'_Sawyer, he killed someone!'_

"Where have you been? Are you stuck in last season or something? That is old news. Bodiless Voice, he sucks at coming up with insults!"

'_I do not! Sawyer, he-he-he comes up with really lame insults!'_

"You're just copying me! Bodiless Voice, he can't think for himself, he has to steal insults from other people."

_'NO! I just happened to like that insult! Sawyer, he brings sadness to the world!'_

"Did you actually just say that? That is the most pathetic insult you have come up with yet!"

_'I hate you! You're mean! I'm gonna come down there and beat you up! you better get ready!'_

"Wow, I'm really scared!"

Above Sawyer's head, there were footsteps walking, a door opening, then the sound of something heavy following down the stairs. Thud Thud Thud _'I am not okay!'_

"And know you know Bodiless Voice."

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sooooooooo...you know what to do...but just in case you don't...review! I live for reviews!


	3. Charlie

Charlie

Charlie walked into the hatch. "Claire? Are you in here Claire?" Charlie called. He then noticed a stool lit by a spotlight in the middle of the room and decided to sit down on it.

'_Know your stars. Know your stars. Know your stars."_

"What the bloody hell is going on here?"

'_Charlie Pace, he has an irrational fear of killer whales.'_

"It's bees. I'm afraid of bees. Have you even watched the show? Or are you one of those people who think that 2 years has already gone by on the island?"

'_Charlie Pace, he was the owner of the Jif peanut butter company.'_

"No, I wasn't. I was a rock star."

'_Charlie Pace, he was the owner of the Pace salsa company.'_

"No, I wasn't, so will you just quit it?"

'_Charlie Pace, he likes his salsa extra chunky, just like his peanut butter.'_

"Well, I do like chunky salsa, but not chunky peanut butter. I take mine extra smooth, thank you."

'_Charlie Pace, he made a small fortune on his salsa company.'_

"I wasn't the owner of some bloody imitation salsa company."

'_But I thought Pace salsa was supposed to be authentic. And if you didn't own it, then why is it named after you?'_

"Just because it has the same name as me, doesn't mean I owned it! I was a bloody rock god!"

'_Let's go with that. It's good. Charlie Pace, he's a bloody rock god.' _

"That's right. I still am a rock god. My band, Driveshaft, we're in the middle of a comeback."

'_Bloody Rock God, he is the ruler of rocks.'_

"That's not what I meant!"

'_Bloody Rock God, he commands boulders and stones with a single word.'_

"I'm not a rock god!"

'_But you just said you were. And how did you cause that cave-in right after you said that you're a rock god if it's not true?' _

From out of nowhere, a bunch of stones came hurling at Charlie, hitting him.

"Ow! Stop! That hurts!"

The bodiless voice cackled hysterically. _'Command them, you bloody rock god! Command them with your bloody rock powers.'_

"I don't have any powers! Stop it!" Charlie then ran out of the hatch, the owner of the bodiless voice throwing stones after him.

'_And now you know the Bloody Rock God.'_


	4. Hurley

Thank you to all my reviewers! So here's Hurley. You asked for it, so you got it.

Hurley 

_'Know your stars. Know your stars. Know your stars.'_

"Dude, I can't see you. Where are you?"

_'Hugo Reyes, he can speak bird.'_

"Bird? Dude, just because that bird said my name-"

_'Hugo Reyes, he has many bird friends.'_

"Dude, I'm warning you. If you tell anyone-"

_'Hugo Reyes, he sings lullabies to his bird friends every night.'_

"How did you find out about all of this? I made sure I was alone!"

_'Hugo Reyes, he is in love with a bird.'_

"If you hurt one feather on Miss Pink Sparkles's wings, I swear I'll kill you!"

_'Hugo Reyes, he killed two people.'_

"That is so second season."

_'Hugo Reyes, he hugs pricker bushes.'_

"It was only that one time!" He turned around and looked directly at the hidden camera. "If I could give our readers out there one piece of advice, it's to never hug a picker bush. Trust me, I've learned from experience."

_'There's not supposed to be a moral to this story! It's just random, pointless-'_

"Dude, relax. I never said that was the moral! I'm just giving them some good advice."

_'Whatever. Now where was I? Oh yes. Hugo Reyes, he is a singing chicken in disguise.'_

"And what does that make you? A dancing corndog?"

_'Oh no!'_ The body-less voice said seriously. _"I've been found out! They're not supposed to know what I am!'_

"Dude, I was just joking. Are you really a dancing corndog?"

_'No! Now leave my fortress of doom!'_

"Dude, it's a hatch."

_'Well, it's my hatch, so get out! Or I'll send my hot dog minions of destruction after you!'_

"I'm going! I'm going!"

_'And tell the others never to come here!'_ The bodiless voice sighed then said to the camera, _'And now you know Hugo Reyes.'_

---

So who should I do next?


	5. Desmond

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, but here's the next chapter! And just in case you're wondering, the song in here is from the 4th Harry Potter movie.

Know Your Stars: 

Desmond

_'Know you stars. Know your stars. Know your stars.'_

"Brother, what's going on?"

_'Desmond Hume, he is an alcoholic.'_

"You're wrong, bro."

_'Desmond Hume, he drinks 15 bottles a day.'_

"It depends on what you're talking about. If it's Jolt- then you're right. Or wait, do I drink 42 a day? I kind of lose count after the 8th one. Hehehe."

_'Desmond Hume, he's crazy.'_

"I'm sugar crazy! Crazy for sugar! And caffeine!"

_'Desmond Hume, he needs to take it down a notch.'_

"No, bro! I need to lift it up! Lift it up with me! Come on, lift it up!"

_'Lift what where?'_

"Lift your voice and sing! Put your hands up in the air, like an ogre who just don't care! Can you dance like a hippogriff!"

_'Desmond Hume, he sleeps with a teddy bear named Mr. Pink Sparkles!'_

"Mamamamamamamamama! Flying off from a cliff! Mamamamamamamamama!"

_'Desmond David Hume! He wears a pink tutu!'_

"Swooping down to the ground. Can you dance like a hippogriff? Mamamama-"

_'Shut up. Stop singing! And dancing! I'm the only one who's allowed to dance! Stop it! What are you doing! Come back here! I'm not finished with you! Fine. And now you know the dancing hippogriff.'_

"And around and around and around and around."

_'Oh, so you're back?'_

"Everybody dance now?"

_'Desmond David Hume, he will calm down and sit on his stool like a good little hippog- I mean boy and let me insult him.'_

"Insulting people is very mean. You could have a lot more friends if you gave someone a compliment once in a while."

_'Shut up, or I'll kill you.'_

"Dying is very un healthy."

_'Control yourself. Just breathe. In. Out. Do what the anger mangement person told you. I am not going to attack. I'm not going to attack. AHHH! I can't help it. DESMOND DAVID HUME! HE BETTER START RUNNING!'_

"Is that a threat?" Suddenly the bodiless voice burst through a door off the stage. "Ooh! I saw what you look like! I'm going to tell everyone!"

_'Maybe you will, and maybe you won't. But I can tell you. You won't live much longer.'_ The bodiless voice charged at Desmond. Desmond screamed like a little girl and took off in the oppposite direction.

"Ummm guys?" RandomAvocados shouted into the silence. "Aren't you forgetting something?" No answer. "Fine. I'll do it myself. And now you know Desmond David Hume and the Bodiless Voice. Now, review, and make sure you read the next chapter, coming soon!"


	6. AnaLucia

I've had this chapter written for forever, and I forgot to put it up... Sorry about that.

Know Your Stars: 

Ana-Lucia Cortez

_'Know your stars. Know your stars. Know your stars.'_

"Um, what's going on here?"

_'Ana-Lucia Cortez, she is a ghost.'_

"You're right. I am a ghost."

_'Ana-Lucia, she goes boo.'_

"That is a stereotype! No ghosts say boo!"

_'You do.'_

"No I don't."

_'You just did.'_

"Whatever."

_'Ana-Lucia, she and Libby haunt the hatch.'_

"Right now, I'm haunting Michael. If he thinks he can leave this island, he has another thought coming to him! He'll never leave! I-"

_'Ana-Lucia, she fell off a bus.'_

"Hey! You interrupted me! And you changed the subject!"

_'Ana-Lucia, she died by falling off a bus.'_

"No. Michael shot me."

_'That's what they want you to think.'_

"Who's they?"

_'The Powers That Be.'_

"Why would The Powers That Be want people to think Michael shot me if he really didn't?"

_'How should I know? I just come up with this stuff. Anyway, Ana-Lucia, she died by swallowing a knife.'_

"Here we go again."

_'Ana-Lucia, she was attacked by juggling chickens.'_

"That's just stupid. Why would juggling chickens attack me?" Suddenly, a pack of juggling chickens surrounded her, pecking her to death. She tried to fight them off, but to no avail, and soon she was lying on the floor. Dead. "Wait a second!" she called out, standing up. "I can't die. I'm already dead."

_'And now you know, Ana-Lucia.'_

Next Chapter: You decide the fate of us all...


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